Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Becoming a Healed Healer

Understanding our own irrational bad behavior is the first step toward emotional healing. Where it comes from... what triggers it... what fuels it... are all keys to self-awareness that allow us to unlock the secrets of our wounded hearts.

Understanding the irrational bad behavior of others is the first step toward becoming a healed healer. It is truly amazing how we so eagerly judge those around us for their irrational bad behavior, or simply blame it on “sin”, & quickly place those people in some emotional category we frequently label “people to avoid”.

There are three questions that help penetrate the facades others wear to see what lies behind their irrational bad-behavior...

1) What is this person trying to feel or prove to him/herself?
2) Then what does this person really feel or believe about him/herself deep down?
3) What does this person’s inner-self (emotional- or child-self) long to hear?

Here are a couple of examples...

A girl at work singles you out as a target of gossip or social exclusion. 1) What is she trying to feel or prove to herself? Most likely, she is trying to feel more acceptable in contrast to you. 2) Then what does she really feel or believe about herself deep down? She probably feels less than acceptable in her heart & is working to create those feelings artificially. 3) What does her inner-self long to hear? She longs to hear someone tell her she is truly lovable, likeable, acceptable.

A guy in your family throws silly power-plays on you at family gatherings (interrupting you, ignoring you, etc.). 1) What is he trying to feel or prove to himself? Most likely, he is trying to feel powerful. 2) Then what does he really feel or believe about himself deep down? He probably feels weak or a failure in his heart & is working to prove his strength. 3) What does his inner-self long to hear? He longs to hear that he is capable, powerful, & able to succeed or win.

There. We have just taken the first step to becoming healed healers. These three questions work with virtually everyone around us... coworkers, family members, friends, spouses, etc. If we learn to ask them about ourselves & learn to ask them about those around us, we will begin to see past the irrational bad-behavior that is most visible & perhaps even take them out of our emotional cage labeled, “people to avoid” & place them in our emotional hospital bed labeled, “people to care for & encourage”.

Give it a try & watch how many doors God begins to open!

2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ... "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

What the Heck is an "Inner Child"?
Theology of Self Image
Healing Our Toxic Shame
Toxic Shame Stinks

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